Dear Santa, I have been good all year …

I plan my whole day around the possibility of a nap …

Kid asks the meaning behind these words …

It’s been that kind of day …

I respond to text messages in my head …

Yelling at a dog to stop barking does not work …

Have you ever given the finger to …

They are just making a puppy …

If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars …