Women spend 2 percent of their lives trying figure out where bruises came from

In desperate need of a full body massage…

You do realize one day I will snap right

Due to unfortunate circumstances …

I am the type of person who goes to a party …

Single Life is when you can eat peanut butter out of the jar naked in the kitchen without judgment

If you dont know what to do at a 4 way stop ….

I want to be nice but everyone annoys me

If you ate it in the car before you got home …