Alcohol

I’m outdoorsy in that …

I'm outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios ecard

I can’t wait to get home and …

I can't wait to get home and pour myself dinner ecard

Can’t decide if I need a hug, an XL coffee …

Can't decide if I need a hug, an XL coffee, 6 shots of vodka or two weeks of sleep ecard

Spilling a full beer is the adult equivalent of …

Spilling a full beer is the adult equivalent of accidentally letting go of a balloon ecard

Nothing says ‘I mean business’ …

Nothing says 'I mean business' like using a cart at the liquor store ecard

This beer tastes a lot like …

This beer tastes a lot like I'm not going into work tomorrow ecard

Coffee, you’re on the bench …

Coffee, you're on the bench. Alcohol, suit up ecard

Did you know that 2-3 vodkas per day …

Did you know that 2-3 vodkas per day can reduce your risk of giving a damn ecard

Sometimes I drink water …

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver