Alcohol

I’m so old that I remember …

Im so old that I remember when vodka only came in vodka flavor ecard

I blame my sweet tooth …

i blame my sweet tooth for not being able to lose weight but in reality its my drunk tooth ecard

Part of me says cant keep drinking like this …

Part of me says I can't keep drinking like this. The other part of me says "Don't listen to her shes drunk" ecard

I’ve reached the age where …

I've reached the age where happy hour is a nap ecard

I’m outdoorsy in that …

I'm outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios ecard

I can’t wait to get home and …

I can't wait to get home and pour myself dinner ecard

Can’t decide if I need a hug, an XL coffee …

Can't decide if I need a hug, an XL coffee, 6 shots of vodka or two weeks of sleep ecard

Spilling a full beer is the adult equivalent of …

Spilling a full beer is the adult equivalent of accidentally letting go of a balloon ecard

Nothing says ‘I mean business’ …

Nothing says 'I mean business' like using a cart at the liquor store ecard