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Tired isn’t even a temporary state for me anymore …

Tired isn't even a temporary state for me anymore. It's just part of my personality at this point ecard

Life is like toilet paper

Life is like toilet paper. You're either on a roll or you're taking shit from some asshole

They say actions speak louder than words, so instead of …

They say actions speak louder than words, so instead of telling you how I fell, I'm just going to punch you in the throat ecard

My shopping trips usually consist of me filling my cart and …

My shopping trips usually consist of me filling my cart and then slowly putting everything back ecard

I’m just waiting to see if my coffee chooses …

I'm just waiting to see if my coffee chooses to use its powers for good or evil today ecard

Sorry I haven’t texted in a while …

Sorry I haven't texted in a while. Haven't been drunk ecard

Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get …

Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming at a restaurant ecard

Most things can be improved by one of 5 things …

Most things can be improved by one of 5 things: cheese, BBQ sauce, melted butter, ranch dressing or chocolate ecard

Everything is better when …

Everything is better when you decide you don't care ecard

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