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I hate being tickled …

I hate being tickled. I don't think it's cute or funny. I will know you out, by accident, on purpose ecard

Instead of cleaning the house, I just watch an episode of Hoarders …

Instead of cleaning the house, I just watch an episode of Hoarders and think "Wow my house looks great!" ecard

Road Rage Problem

I realized that I might have a road rage problem when my kids started yelling 'Pick a lane asshole' in the grocery store ecard

I was going to call in sick today …

I was going to call in sick today until I realized I'm already at work ecard

Pajamas in Public

I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest ecard

Paychecks weekends and unsatisfying men have a lot in common …

Paychecks, weekends and unsatisfying men have a lot in common. They're too short and don't last long enough ecard

I am so hungry I could eat my own cooking

I am so hungry I could eat my own cooking ecard

So if we lie to the government it’s a felony. But if they lie to us, it’s politics

So if we lie to the government it's a felony. But if they lie to us, it's politics ecard

Do I run? Yes. I run out of money

Do I run? Yes. I run out of money ecard

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