Parenting

I’m so excited you’re having a baby …

I'm so excited you're having a baby. And even more excited I'm not ecard

You call it’nagging’. I call it ‘Listen to what i fucking said the first time’

You call it'nagging'. I call it 'Listen to what i fucking said the first time'

When I got pregnant, I craved pickles. Now I randomly eat pickles to scare my husband

When I got pregnant, I craved pickles. Now I randomly eat pickles to scare my husband ecard

To be perfectly frank, your child makes me …

To be perfectly frank, your child makes me want to OD on birth control ecard

Someone said to me ‘You’re hard on your kids’ …

Someone said to me 'You're hard on your kids'. Yeah, that's why they aren't little assholes ecard

The golden rule in my house …

The golden rule in my house is if it's funny then you're not in trouble ecard

If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it probably can’t pay its student loans

If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it probably can't pay its student loans ecard

When I get a headache …

When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children. Just like it says on the bottle ecard

Sometimes you have to flip out …

Sometimes you have to flip out and go bat shit crazy to make a point ecard