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You know you’re lowering your expectations as a parent when …

I love that point when you are so tired …

Some people like to think they’re champagne …

Does anyone else immediately change back …

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol …

You know you’re broke as hell when …

And that’s a wrap on another day …

Can I order a replacement body please …

I’m so broke, I had to choose between paying my electric bill or getting groceries …