ecard

I wasn’t always this sarcastic …

I wasn't always this sarcastic. It took me many years of dealing with assholes to become this good at it ecard

Nothing warms my heart more …

Nothing warms my heart more than instant karma ecard

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back …

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you're with them they always got their phone in their hand texting ecard

If you’re home alone …

If you're home alone and wearing pants you're doing it wrong ecard

I just told the monster under my bed …

I just told the monster under my bed, that rent is due ecard

In case I don’t make it through this …

In case I don't make it through this ... Can I have my straight jacket in pink? ecard

I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache …

I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore ecard

I’m sarcastic …

I'm sarcastic. What's your superpower? ecard

If my ceiling fan could hold my weight …

If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again ecard

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