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Most adult friendships are just figuring out …

Most adult friendships are just figuring out whose turn it is to cancel plans ecard

The best nicknames …

The best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have ecard

When I feel down, I match my underwear to my outfit …

When I feel down, I match my underwear to my outfit. It makes me feel like I have my life together ecard

If I hit snooze 3 times …

If I hit snooze 3 times, it should automatically send an email to my boss saying that I'm out sick ecard

When a woman is silent …

When a woman is silent, listen to her very carefully ecard

I must have an amazing butt …

I must have an amazing butt. Every time I walk away from someone, I hear them whisper 'what an ass' ecard

I’m not lazy …

I'm not lazy. I just like to relax a lot

The only person I’m really scared of is myself …

The only person I'm really scared of is myself. That bitch is crazy ecard

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