ecard

My shopping trips usually consist of me filling my cart and …

My shopping trips usually consist of me filling my cart and then slowly putting everything back ecard

I’m just waiting to see if my coffee chooses …

I'm just waiting to see if my coffee chooses to use its powers for good or evil today ecard

Sorry I haven’t texted in a while …

Sorry I haven't texted in a while. Haven't been drunk ecard

Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get …

Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming at a restaurant ecard

Most things can be improved by one of 5 things …

Most things can be improved by one of 5 things: cheese, BBQ sauce, melted butter, ranch dressing or chocolate ecard

Everything is better when …

Everything is better when you decide you don't care ecard

Asking me if I am hungry is like asking me …

Asking me if I am hungry is like asking me if I want money ecard

Out of all the lies I’ve told, ‘Just kidding’ is my favorite

Out of all the lies I've told, 'Just kidding' is my favorite

Oh dear!

Oh dear! Did I forget to give a shit?

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