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I’m sorry, my ‘Give a shit’ fairy died

I can’t people today

I’m so excited you’re having a baby …

You call it’nagging’. I call it ‘Listen to what i fucking said the first time’

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America

Thanks for your concern but I’m not sick, dying or sad. I just forgot to put eye makeup this morning

Why yes I will spend 50 more dollars to avoid paying 3 dollars for shipping

I don’t want to make you jealous but I have grand plans …